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How to Get Out Of Her Friend Zone

Are you trying to make a girl fall for you? Are you sick and tired of being stuck in the friend zone? Are you wondering if you can be more than just friends?

Within this article, you’ll learn about:

  • The Real Truth About the Friend Zone
  • How to Recognize When You’re Entering the Friend Zone
  • The Reasons Why You’ll Get Stuck in the Friend Zone
  • How to Become Her Boyfriend
  • What to Do When She Says No

The Real Truth About the Friend Zone

Why are you having a hard time making her your girlfriend? You’ve done everything right and you’ve gotten much closer to her. But at some point she placed you in the friend zone. People want to believe that this doesn’t exist, but they’d be wrong.

At some point in your life, you have definitely entered the friend zone with a very smart or pretty girl. You wanted to ask her out and prayed she’d say yes, but she only looks at you like she’s your friend. No matter how hard you’ve tried to please her, and no matter how often you are there for her, she isn’t interested in entering a romantic relationship with you.

For many of us, we’ve known a girl for quite some time and we’ve even showered her with affection. We’ve shown her how much we like her, care for her, and more, but she just wants to remain friends.

Guess what? It’s highly likely that she knows you’re into her that way. But she’s pretending like she doesn’t know what’s going on because she wants the two of you to remain friends.

Being trapped in the friend zone can be really hard on a lot of guys because it’s confusing, frustrating, and even painful to deal with. You have to wonder why she can’t recognize that you’re the guy of her dreams as she complains about other guys treating her poorly.

And then she’ll mention something along the lines of, “Why can’t guys treat me the way you do?” And in the back of your mind, you have to wonder why she doesn’t see you as the perfect partner and you bite your tongue because she just doesn’t seem to get it. Instead, you just share a slight smile with her and nod your head in agreement.

Do you know what? This isn’t the end of the road for you with this girl. You can actually make some changes and drag yourself out of the friend zone and into boyfriend material.

Do you think it’s impossible? It certainly isn’t if you can survive the difficulties of the friend zone and escape barely unscathed. You know you’re a good guy and eventually she’s going to see you the same way and realize that you’re perfect boyfriend material.

How to Recognize When You’re Entering the Friend Zone

Are you already scheming to work your way out of the friend zone? Before you begin, make sure that you’re actually within the zone before wasting your time. You have to remember that girls are tricky and they’re often hard to figure out. But signals do exist to let you know whether you’re in or out and it’s possible you could be misinterpreting them.

To help you make your overall determination about whether or not you’re in the friend zone, we’ve shared some common signs with you below to pay attention to. They include the following:

  • She gave you a pet name – it’s cute that she has given you a pet name, and in many relationships this definitely happens. But certain pet names prove that you’re in the friend zone. Does she call you things like “friend”, “buddy”, or “brother?” If so, you’re likely in the friend zone.
  • She loves taking you shopping – what guys like to go shopping? None that I’ve ever met. But if you’re in the friend zone, you will likely go shopping with her because she doesn’t really give you a choice. It’s not like she’s asking you your opinion about the clothes that she’s about to buy. But she wants you there anyway even though you hate it because she decided to make you her shopping buddy. This is a sure sign that you are in the friend zone.
  • She is your favorite wing man – does she like to set you up on dates with other girls? Obviously she doesn’t look at you romantically if she’s trying to set you up with someone else. In fact, if one of her friends had a crush on you she wouldn’t tell you if she actually liked you romantically.
  • She uses you as a shoulder to cry on – is she constantly calling up and crying to you after she breaks up with another guy? Does she contact you immediately after she had a dumb argument with some other dude? If she calls you like this or asks you to meet her for comfort during these difficult times, she considers you her best guy friend. This also means you’re in the friend zone because she’s comfortable sharing vulnerable and intimate moments involving other guys because she looks to you when bad things happen. Crying about another guy to you is a major red flag pointing toward the friend zone.
  • She still treats you like a friend even when she’s drunk – in many friend zone relationships, the girl might share her hidden feelings with you when she gets drunk. She might kiss you or make a move on you and then you’ll finally know how she really feels about you. But if you hang around with her when she’s drunk and she still considers you a friend just like she does when she’s sober, then you’re likely in the friend zone.
  • She’s in a relationship or dating someone else – if she’s hanging around with you but dating other people, she likely considers you a good friend and nothing more. If a girl really likes you, she wouldn’t tell you about her romantic relationships. And if she had plans to date you some day, she wouldn’t fill you in on the gory details of her current flings.

The Reasons Why You’ll Get Stuck in the Friend Zone

Girls have reasons why they might put you into the friend zone or potentially want to hook up with you at some point in the future. In fact, if you believe in old sayings, then you know that there is a reason for everything. This is true of life and it’s also the reason why you will continue to stay locked in the friend zone.

The reasons you’ll stay stuck in the friend zone include:

  • You are always available for her – there’s nothing wrong with being available to people, and this is especially true of a girl that you like. But there is being available and being way too available. This is a mistake that many guys end up making because whenever a girl asks them for a favor or request or an invitation, they always say yes no matter what and drop everything for them. At this stage of the game, you’re likely the guy that she calls to invite to lunch, go shopping or she may even take you to a wedding when she doesn’t have another date. If you constantly remain available to her in this capacity, you will continue to stay in the friend zone. She’ll take you for granted because you’re always there and you’re always available to help her whenever she needs it.
  • You aren’t clear with your intentions – have you been friends with a girl that you like for months or even years? And at this stage of the game, have you let her know your feelings toward her? If you don’t speak up and tell her your intentions, she’s never going to know that you would like to have a romantic or sexual relationship with her. Guys want to believe that their kind gestures and their intentions are obvious. But for some women they just don’t get it so you have to come right out and tell them and be blunt about it. Otherwise your relationship will remain platonic.
  • You feel inadequate for her – do you feel inadequate? Do you feel like you’re just not good enough for her? You may be the one putting yourself in the friend zone just because you do not believe in yourself. Gain self-confidence and understand your value and take a shot and see what happens.
  • You really aren’t her type – let’s face it. In some situations you may be an amazing guy but you just aren’t going to be her type for a physical or romantic relationship. She may like you as a friend, but she’s not into you otherwise. This happens and it’s going to happen from time to time and you have to deal with it. So it’s definitely possible that you’re in the friend zone because she’s just not that into you. It’s not that she doesn’t like you or she thinks you’re ugly or something. She just likes a different type of guy as a romantic partner or someone that she would consider dating. It happens so suck it up and deal with it.
  • You’re afraid of losing her – are you willing to remain in the friend zone because you’ve grown so fond of this girl that you’d do anything to keep her in your life? You may be afraid that she will react poorly to your proposal if you decide to make a romantic advance toward her. If this is the case and you tell her about your feelings toward her, she may decide that she actually likes you too. But on the flip side, she may clam up and stop talking to you if she doesn’t have the same romantic feelings back.

How to Become Her Boyfriend

What do you do to get out of the friend zone and become her boyfriend? You do not have to remain in the friend zone forever. You can take a stand and begin crawling your way out of the pit of friendship that you currently find yourself in.

Stop treating her like a princess and make yourself the main priority.

When a guy falls for a girl and spends a lot of time with her and ends up in the friend zone, he often fails to make himself a top priority. We understand that you’re in love and we get that you want to be by her side whenever she needs you. But don’t forget about the important deadlines in your life and the meetings that you need to attend. You cannot neglect your priorities. You aren’t her hero. You have to live your own life and fix your own problems.

Do not give her special treatment while your life utterly falls apart. She’s going to continue to look at you like her brother anyway. So start saying no to her and don’t do everything she asks and jump at her beck and call. You can still be nice to her because no one says you have to be an idiot toward her. But you have to also draw a line in the sand since you aren’t actually her boyfriend or brother.

Scarcity and unpredictability are the name of the game.

Nobody really likes to be predictable.It’s really boring and you aren’t going to win over a girl if she could predict your every move. You need to make this girl feel excited any time you step foot in the room. She needs to feel a thrill whenever she sees you. Otherwise she’ll be glad that you’re her friend, but she’s never going to experience any major romantic interest toward you. But if you can make her miss you and want to be around you all the time, then you definitely have a real shot at hooking up with her romantically.

The next time she sends you a text, do not reply right away. In fact wait a couple of hours to make her anticipate returning her text. This will get to her ego and she’ll start to get distressed and wonder why you haven’t texted her back just like you always did in the past. This will pull on her heartstrings and really get to her emotionally, where she’ll start wondering why you’re suddenly being distant with her.

Guess what? Girls love drama. They thrive on that stuff. And if you can bring this drama to her life she’s going to like you more. This will keep her off guard and ruin her typical expectations. Now is the time to strike and ask her out. She won’t expect that either. And then you can take her on an adventurous date to an exotic restaurant, or someplace really fun and unexpected.

Show her know that other women want you.

To get out of the friend zone, she needs to start thinking differently about you. She needs to start seeing you as a desirable object of her affection. If other women begin to find you desirable and she sees this, it’s going to change her mind about you too.

To become more desirable, you have to start dating other girls. You have to go on dates and tell her all about them. You have to let her know about your relationships and let her in to see that you’re definitely good boyfriend material. It doesn’t matter if you happen to be in love with this girl because you’re stuck in the friend zone right now and this is the only way you may get out of it.

Has she shown you any interest after you’ve proven that you’re good boyfriend material? If not, then you may need to walk away entirely and find somebody different. Maybe the girl you’re currently dating is the one. But if you can get her jealous enough to see you as the object of her affection, you’ll have a much easier chance at winning her heart.

Become the best version of yourself that you could possibly be.

The best way to win over a girl is to focus on self-improvement. Go to the gym, spice up your wardrobe, start reading more often, and make it a point to try new things. Do whatever you can to build your confidence. A guy will always look much hotter to the opposite sex if he is brimming with self-confidence.

On the flip side, if you are constantly insecure and don’t feel good about yourself, you’ll likely remain in the friend zone. So if she starts telling you about the hot guy that she met when she was out at the club, try not to get jealous. Act cool and even talk up the guy. This reverse psychology always works and it will prove that you’re very confident in yourself. This guy doesn’t intimidate you and you will let her know.

Spice up your friendship.

The only way you’re ever going to win her over as if she becomes sexually attracted to you. You’re obviously already sexually attracted to her, so there’s nothing to worry about in that regard. But you need to focus on splicing up your friendship.

Many guys end up in the friend zone because they do not show the girl their sexuality. And when women think you aren’t interested, they are going to withdraw their sexual attraction.

To spice up your friendship, you can touch her arm, get close while you’re talking to her, grab her hand, and hint that you are interested in her as more than just friends. This will spark a sexual attraction that will take you out of the friend zone and toward boyfriend material.  Maybe you can even start sexting her if you want to get aggressive with it.

Let her know how you feel.

You keep assuming that she knows that you are sexually attracted to her. But honestly, if you haven’t told her outright she probably doesn’t know that you’re into her. So it’s time to man up and actually tell her the truth. Drop hints and let her know that you have a serious interest in her and you’d like to be more than just friends. This might be difficult but it’s the only way to land on her sexual radar.

Stop acting like her best friend.

It will take time to get out of the friend zone, but the best way to begin is to stop acting like her best friend. Try not to remove yourself as her best friend instantly because this will only freak her out and scare her away or make her feel uncomfortable.

Instead, let her know subtly that you would like to be her boyfriend. Send her flowers, tell her how pretty she looks, and then ask her out on a date. This will help get your message across and she’ll know that you’re good boyfriend material and a definite potential suitor.

It’s okay to start flirting with her.

Flirting is the best way to let a girl know that you’re interested in her. And it’s even good when a girl thinks you’re her best friend and she’s got you buried deeply in the friend zone.

As mentioned, complement her as often as possible and do it in a teasing way. Do it confidently and don’t be afraid to take charge. Girls like a man with confidence and they want you to flirt with them. If she responds positively than you’re definitely on your way out of the friend zone.

What to Do When She Says No

Sometimes things just aren’t meant to be. It really sucks to get rejected and you aren’t going to feel great. But you’ll bounce back from heartbreak even if you think you were madly in love with this person.

Don’t worry if you’re sad, angry, or severely disappointed. You can move on quickly if you tried to let her know that you’re interested in her but she just wasn’t into it. It’s time to walk away and begin thinking about going after other girls.

This won’t be easy. But you have to commit to moving on with your life. You cannot stay in the friend zone forever while other relationship opportunities pass you by.

If you’re struggling in this regard, consider the following:

  • Her decision deserves your respect – you don’t have to like her decision but you definitely have to respect it. If she said no then she’s not interested in you that way. Accept it and move on.
  • Accept and acknowledge your feelings – it’s okay to feel terrible when you get rejected. It doesn’t make you less manly to feel hurt or sad. Accept your feelings, acknowledge them, and begin healing from an emotional standpoint.
  • Never blame yourself – just because she doesn’t like you it doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with you or you should blame yourself. You didn’t fail at anything because she said no. It just wasn’t in the cards. That’s all.
  • Open up to your best friends – instead of dealing with this rejection alone, let your best friends know about it. Tell them how you feel and let them help you cope with the rejection.
  • Move on with your life – yes it hurts to get rejected in love but there are plenty of things that you can focus on to forget about this difficult situation. Surround yourself with friends and other new people and before long you’ll meet another girl that you like even more.
  • Become her friend again – maybe you’ve been missing her in your life even though the relationship didn’t work out. If that’s the case, you could always become her friend if you can handle it. There’s nothing wrong with intentionally putting yourself in the friend zone as long as you realize you’re never getting out of it.


Calvin Riddle created Casual Sex Calvin as a way to entertain like-minded individuals on sex topics and solve many of life's problems people are too shy to talk about. When he's not working his 9-5 importing fine wines, he enjoys watching sports and will never turn down a good debate.

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