Why Morning Handjobs Are So Awesome

Imagine waking up and having such a great morning handjob that your toes curl and face cringes in pleasure.  While I’d gladly take oral sex over a handjob, I’ll never turn down a morning handjob from a hot piece of ass while I slowly wake up and begin to start my day.

Today I’m going to talk about why us men love the morning handjob, and how we can encourage women to add excitement to this great way to wake up.

Why Us Men Love Morning Handjobs

I don’t know about you guys, but after a solid night’s sleep I feel rejuvenated and ready to go. Science shows that our hormones are at a solid balance and ready for some erotic touching.  For me, that’s just a day in the life of Calvin’s morning wood!  Sorry to go third person there, I just got done watching old WWF videos featuring “The Rock,” if you smell what I’m cooking.

We love the morning hand job even more on those days we wake up with a rock hard penis. I mean, hello, what are we supposed to do with it?

morning hand jobs

Women have seen how we operate and often know that they have woke up next to a horny dude because he’s grinding all over them like a drunk college kid dry humping legs on the dance floor of a local bar.

Us men are horny in the morning.  Other than a solid blow job or strange fetishes, there isn’t a more effortless way to get relaxed and ready for the day than when a woman grab’s my junk and grabs it with a kung fu grip and begins to stroke it.

When I’m about to dive into a stressful day, the old morning handy counterbalances any of life’s stress with some much needed pleasure.  It helps us as men cope with the emotions that surface throughout the day and I don’t know about you guys, but I’ll take a hand job all day over meditation.

Why Women Offer Up Morning Handjobs

Women aren’t as stupid as we often assume they are.  They know we are up and ready for action just about any morning that we didn’t oversleep and miss the kick-off to college football.  Not every woman wants our man batter in their mouths after waking, so for a lot of people, oral sex is off the table.

However they will see the massive erection and if they are into you, they will take care of it.  They can’t ignore those things and it’s an easy way to please men pretty rapidly and without a ton of effort.  Plus, it works the wrist muscles.

Why It’s Good for Both Women and Men

The handjob creates intimacy very quickly.  We start the day together, and it improves relationships immensely.  (At least that’s what I tell them.) But let’s be honest, how can you be a dick to a woman that starts her day getting you off?

How to Improve The Morning Handjob

Surprise Wake Up Handjob

Most men don’t realize this, but your boner happens before you wake up.  I’ve personally been given hand jobs while I’m still asleep. There is nothing quite like waking up and blowing a load with some single onlyfans model laying next to you.

You may think you were dreaming, but this is the old surprise handjob!

Bedside Lotion

Ever wonder why the massage parlors use lotion?

Because it leads to massive explosions!

A lot of women have smartened up and now keep lotion on the nightstand.  Hey, I’m all for proper skin care, but I’m more for caring for my cock if you know what I mean.  When lotion is in play, lay there I may, or something like that.  Getting a hand job with lotion is the ultimate bliss and zen I need to start my day.  Not only that, it’s great for my skin and ballsack wrinkles!

The Morning Top Off

As I mentioned earlier, let’s assume you wake up with an erection.  A pretty big one, at that.  This is the time a woman can come in and give the old quickie handjob, the one doesn’t take long and produces massive amounts of man batter flying across the room.

Ladies, when a man is ready to go, he is ready to go!

And this, my friends and followers, is the morning handjobs guide, plain and simple.  We wake up at our sexual peak and should be taken care of upon waking.  Now go out there and take advantage!

 

About 

Calvin Riddle created Casual Sex Calvin as a way to entertain like-minded individuals on sex topics and solve many of life's problems people are too shy to talk about. When he's not working his 9-5 importing fine wines, he enjoys watching sports and will never turn down a good debate.

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