The Secret to Squirting is Finally Revealed!

Lots of men enjoy women who squirt.  Lots of women enjoy squirting.  So that’s that.  I, for one, do NOT enjoy getting squirted on, so this topic is something of a taboo for me, but since this is a website for sexual deviants like myself, I must cater to my audience!  I recently watched a YouTube video on a channel called “The Mystery Show.”  They had a female on stage by the name of Jennifer Lynn who details her experience squirting.  I was highly entertained, intrigued, and naturally thought it was something worth sharing.  The full transcript is posted below for you romance novel readers while the video is embedded for those of you, like me, who are more inclined to put on your earbuds and just have a listen!

FYI, the Mystery Box Show is a YouTube Channel you can find HERE that is all about sex.  The topics are spot on, and are well presented.  Comment if you like this type of content and I’ll be doing more of it on a go forward basis.  I know that most people come here for sex and dating topics, so I figured it fits right in there.  Enjoy!

How to Make Women Squirt

As told by Jennifer Lynn on The Mystery Box Show.

Speaker 1: Folks, will you please put your hands together for Jennifer Lynn.

[applause]

Jennifer: The moment I heard his voice, the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. I was sitting at a bar and the person attached to that voice had just ordered a beer in the

sexiest Scottish brogue I’d ever heard in person. In that moment, I envisioned a really tall man with broad shoulders, and a handsome chiseled face covered in this red scruffy beard. but when I turned around, it’s not what I saw.

[laughter]

Jennifer: He was definitely in his 60s, and somebody’s grandfather for sure. He had the most perfect head of salt and pepper hair that was brushed back, clean-shaven and he was shorter than me. He introduced himself to me and sat in the chair next to me. Francis and I just started chatting and we got on like we’d been pals for a long time. I was really intrigued by Francis and I was really hoping that he would be open to my seduction of him.

[laughter]

Jennifer: Now, while my intentions for Francis might seem perfectly clear, but you need to know that I had clearly underestimated this guy. He had accepted my invitation to continue our conversation up in my apartment, and we were making out on my couch when he abruptly stood up, and he commanded me to lead him to my bedroom. When we got there, he pointed to the end of the bed and he instructed me to stand there and face him. I was mesmerized as he told me to put one leg up on the bed. He walked towards me and he took one hand and he grabbed me by the neck and he took his other hand and he put it between my legs. Now, I’ve been fingered before, but never like this.

[laughter]

Jennifer: He curved his fingers inside of me just so he was touching a part of my body that I hadn’t known existed before this moment. With just a few thrusts, I began to quiver and it’s like those women that are like, saved like-

[laughter]

Jennifer: I just began to quiver and before I knew what was happening in this gush of warm, silky fluid exploded from my vagina and it was all over his arm and all down my legs and I was in this puddle.

[laughter]

Jennifer: You could hear it splash. With his fingers still inside of me, he took his other arm and he pulled me a little closer and he says, ” There, there, lass. Haven’t you ever done that before?” All I could do was mumble and just, “No.” When I finally regain my composure I whispered back to him, “Will you please do that again?”

[laughter]

Jennifer: He did many times that night and I was in awe of how much liquid came out of me but when he saw that I’d finally had enough because I didn’t know, he tucked me under the covers and he patted my hair and he kissed me on the forehead. He reassured me that he was going to see himself out and lock the door. When I woke the next morning, I found this handwritten note from Francis telling me how much fun he’d and he left his number at the bottom. Now, what you need to know about the night that I met Francis is that I had only been separated and divorced for less than a year.

I was recovering from the only relationship I’d ever known. At the age of 21, I married my ex-husband, and after two decades of marriage, he left me for another woman. Now, before I met him I was this– promiscuous would be a kind way to say what I did, but that was all related to my childhood. While if you were on the outside looking in it might have seemed normal, there was a darkness there. It skewed how I viewed relationships and how I wanted to connect with people and I was really comfortable with sex but emotional intimacy wasn’t anything I was interested in or capable of.

Fast forward back to meeting my ex. While I was young and sexual, I also thought my job was to get married and raise a family. That’s what I was raised to do. That was what was expected. He seemed like a good fit because he was single and aloof.

[laughter]

Jennifer: I should have known then that it really wasn’t meant to be. I guess what I realized about my ex is that he covered my light. He got off on making fun of me. Even when I would tell him that it would make me uncomfortable, he would just tell me that I was being too sensitive and I was too sexual. If we’d had sex in the morning and I was in the mood that evening, the answer was always no and I can’t tell you how many times he caught me masturbating. Not only that I had to endure comments about my body’s imperfections. I remember this one time, and I was so excited. I bought a new pair of panties and I wanted to show him.

I’d always struggled with my weight and I was feeling really confident I held them up and he just looked at me and he said, “Well, you know you’re never going to look like one of those supermodels, right?” I didn’t know what to say. All I knew was that not only was I too sexual, I wasn’t good enough. The end of my marriage was a chance to reclaim me and my femininity and my sexuality and that’s why I did not hesitate to invite Francis up to my apartment that evening. While we went on to see each other for a little bit, he and I weren’t meant to be and this story really isn’t about him. It’s about what he helped me discover that night and the path it led me towards.

I decided, well, anything that he can do, I can do better.

[laughter]

Jennifer: Like you do, when you want to learn something new, you consult the Googles. What I learned there is that it’s definitely not pee or maybe it is. It’s always associated with an orgasm, or maybe just sometimes, but really what I learned is there is clearly not enough legitimate research on this topic. I shouldn’t trust Google, I should just trust me my own body and what I was feeling.

[applause]

Jennifer: The first time I tried to make myself squirt, I felt like I was trying to channel my inner porn star, but if you’d been in the room watching, it probably came off more like [unintelligible 00:08:36] porn.

[laughter]

Jennifer: The first few times, I was just on my back just aimlessly ramming my fingers. I’m like, this doesn’t do anything for me. I remembered every time Francis did it, he had me standing and I don’t know if any of the ladies in here have ever tried to finger themselves standing up, but it’s really awkward. I decided I would squat and because I’d still be upright but less awkward of an angle and the first time I did that I actually lost my balance and fell. I remember just laying there on my back thinking, “What the hell are you doing?” I was really determined, and eventually, I was able to keep my balance, and I just couldn’t quite get it.

I remembered how Francis curved his fingers and then I had success and I practiced a lot.

[laughter]

Jennifer: I also knew that part of the charm was experiencing it with a partner. At this point, like I’m single and just dating. The first time I hooked up with somebody and it was like, “Hey, have you ever seen anybody squirt?” “No.” The first time explaining to somebody, it was awkward and they tried and they weren’t successful, so I jumped up on the bed and I squatted. I was like, “You just do it like this,” and they just met with a blank stare like they weren’t really sure what was going on. There were a few other partners that I had some success with but I never really experienced like I had with Francis. I’d given up on the idea of that. In fact, it was a couple of months later that I had just forgone that idea when I met Jeremy.

Similar to Francis, I was completely blatant in my seduction of him when we met and his very polite response was, “Thank you but how about I get your number and we go out on a date some time?” I was like, “No, you kissed me, you want to come home with me.” Thankfully, he did let me seduce him that night, but again, I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. He touched my body in a way that made me forget about my stretch marks, in a way that let me have a loving desire for myself that I had never experienced. With him, I realized that I felt completely free and unencumbered. I was able to be in the moment.

He was able to touch me in a way that I wasn’t so concerned about how I looked if my belly was jiggly or if I was in the right position that both boobs looked full and not too saggy because we all know it’s hard to get both tits to look really good at the same time, or if I was bent over far enough that the cellulite on my ass was all smoothed out. With him, it just seemed like none of that mattered and I realized that all this time I had been trying to re-create this experience of squirting but it really wasn’t about that. It was about all the things leading up to it and the feeling of release and freedom that I felt.

With Jeremy, squirting was like letting go of the past, like everything about me that was broken was somehow made better in that moment. It allowed me to have a healthy relationship with someone and it allowed me to be able to squirt like I did that first time, only it is different and so much better.