As you know, I’m all for using dating networks to meet people. But, with that often comes issues that are unavoidable. I’m talking about things like getting catfished and even more popular act of being ghosted.
Now, picture this…you have finally found someone that you find interesting on your favorite online dating platform (probably this one).
Or maybe you’ve met someone at your favorite coffee shop and have been on a first date with that person. Heck, maybe you’re already smashing!
You think everything is going well between you two, and they have suddenly ghosted you. Certainly not a pleasant thing to happen to anyone.
Unfortunately, ghosting usually leads to an annoying feeling, while also lowering your self-esteem and making you question yourself.
That lady from the MA (2019) movie is creepy AF. No denying that one.
Why is this such a regular thing today? Is it because people are mean and simply don’t care to explain their actions?
They don’t like you and don’t know how to tell you that? Is it done unconsciously or deliberately? Or is it some other reason that goes beyond you, and is rooted in their issues?
Well, today I’ve come to several conclusions as to why people would ghost you and others. Apart from the obvious reason they are not that into you, any decent person would tell you why in an open manner.
For those still scratching their heads, here are the five main reasons why people ghost others. Here’s a big hit…it has nothing to do with you, and everything with them.
Why People Ghost Others So Frequently
Important: these five reasons that people ghost are not in any particular order. I’ve just done what I can to get them all down to share with you.
Lots Of Personal Issue To Resolve
This is one of the first things someone thinks of when a person begins ghosting them. It could be that their grandma died or some other family issue or they are simply swamped with work and have put dating low, low on the list of priorities. But it’s usually true and is the reason number one for ghosting someone.
The personal issues, no matter how simple or serious will always take precedent over a new relationship that is still in the early stages. This also applies to casual dating and fling hookups. No matter how much fun the first two dates were, the person going through personal stuff will (usually) shift their efforts to solving their issues before they continue with any dating objectives.
Also, people going through personal stuff don’t like their “dirty dirt” being exposed to outsiders. As you are still an outsider in their life, no matter how good you connected on your dates.
They will most likely take the easy route and just ghost the heck outta you. It has nothing to do with you, but you end up ghosted anyway. Not a great feeling, but it is what it is. Hey, you can always be the one doing the ghosting too, right? JK, but for reals…
Had Enough Hooking Up (For Now)
Heard the phrase “I’m all worn out?” Well, there is such a thing as being “All dated out.” Going on constant first dates with no real connection, or hookup meetups with no hooking up can be exhausting.
It’s very taxing and testing for people’s patience. When this happens to someone, the obvious thing they do is to ghost everyone they’ve dated recently.
In this case, the phrase “It is not you, it is me,” that people listen to all the time is true. Their disappointments can and do lead to just staying away from the dating world for a while.
Taking a break and looking at things from afar can do wonders to people tired of dating. The helicopter view and top-level analysis does wonders for most. However, it’s def not as pleasant for the ones that end up ghosted.
They’ve Realized It’s Not A Good Fit
The first date went well, you shared a good meal, had a night of conversation and laughs and you think you two are ready for a second date. But the other person is not calling, answering or texting, and after a while, you accept that you’ve been ghosted. Yep, and it is usually after the first date that ghosting occurs.
Unlike corny romance movies and love story flicks, being out of their league is a real thing. Even if you think you think you two have “clicked,” there could be some things that have made the other person a bit timid.
Maybe you’ve talked about your accomplishments and goals in life, and your date has realized that you don’t share the same ideas and expectations.
This has nothing to do with you, and often when people feel unaccomplished in comparison to others, they will opt for the easy way out and ghost someone instead of openly admit their insecurities.
Back To The Ex
You went on a date, but your partner talked about their ex, and not in a bitter tone and they have ceased communication with you after. The chances are they’ve reconnected with their ex and don’t know how to break the news to you. Thus, ghosting seems like a viable solution.
It seems unfair for them to go out with you if they have been thinking about getting back together with their ex.
However, this is not always the case, as sometimes people can get pressured into going on a date with someone new and realize that they want to get back with their ex. This is a situation that you can’t help at all, and you’ll just have to suffer through the ghosting and move on.
They May Really Be An Asshole
It is more common to go on a first date with an ass then it is with a decent person. People with less than decent intentions that in reality are assholes will scroll through your social media profiles or even chat with you if you run into each other but will completely ignore all communication. You can even see them on a date with someone else without putting an end on the thing with you.
These are the people that are not worth your time. So you can look at their ghosting as them doing you a favor and freeing you up to finding someone descent that will like you and will most definitely not ghost you.
Conclusion: You Will Be Ghosted At Some Point
Look, face the fact that you’re going to get ghosted at one point or another in your life. There is literally no avoiding it unless you’re married or in a monogamous long-term relationship.
But PLEASE, don’t let that stop you from getting back on the horse and using apps to date casually. Life is too short to let one person dictate how and what you do.